“It’s really easy to slide into a depression fuelled by the pointlessness of existence.”

Robert Smith

Stuck As Fuck

I’m really trying hard not to let my one post a week pattern slip. If I can make it a whole year I think I’ll genuinely proud of myself for a change. I’ve done a few “excuse” posts along the way but it’s still writing and that’s important. It’s given me a sense of accomplishment I rarely feel these days and my god it’s been hard these last couple of months.

Finishing my first round of PTSD therapy has really really ruined me mentally and I can’t see an end to the instability hangover I’ve been left with. If I can just keep writing these little posts then maybe I can see the light at the end of the tunnel get closer, because fuck me it’s dark at the moment.

My emotions have been all over the place, my sleep pattern is utterly shattered and the thoughts running around my head are so bad I’m afraid to tell my partner about some of them because I’m afraid they’d be the end of my relationship with them. Not good times.

I really hope that in a couple of weeks/months I can look back on some of these posts and think “thank fuck that’s over”. But I also hope that I do take the time to look back at them, because remembering them is just as important as getting over them if you ask me. You can’t see how good things are if you forget how bad they were I guess.

So yeh, sorry for another cop-out post but I’m so knackered as I write this. I’ve barely been able to concentrate on listening to music, watching tv or anything simple this week so I count myself lucky that I managed to get these 300~ words written down.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next time. Until then, remember to take care of yourselves. Peace.


Bonus Video

A song I’ve fallen in love with

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