Free Fallin’

“New ribs/teeth/spine/balls/etc., please!”

Craig Charles, Takeshi’s Castle

01. Main Screen

Step Aside Fortnite

So this week the world was blessed with the release of Fall Guys, a chaotic Battle Royale like nothing released before it. Like the quote up there may suggest, the game is Takeshi’s Castle in soul. If you’re a 90s kid like myself then I’m sure you have a lot of memories of it (and game shows like it) where people would hurt themselves for seemingly little or no prizes, and it was awesome!

The game starts you out in an “Episode” that takes 60 players and pits them against each other in a series of challenges. Over the rounds you whittle down the number of players and if you are the last one standing you get a glorious crown.


The mini-games, challenges, or whatever you want to call them are chaotic and brilliant. But as you’ll see later, they can also be extremely rage inducing. The only ones that I would argue aren’t any good are the games where you need to steal tails from other players. Those games are great but the latency (lag) issues make these games impossible to play with any semblance of skill or planning, but maybe that’s just part of the charm.

The game is only just out though so there are bound to be teething problems, my least favourite of which are the hackers. I’ve had victory stolen from me a few times now by someone who can just guarantee victory within seconds of the game beginning.

If you can’t watch the video it basically involves someone floating high above the area the game takes place in, flying out of reach of all the other players.

Aside from the issues though, I am absolutely in love with the game. I’ve been a fan of Battle Royale games for a number of years and it’s great to see a more casual one step onto the field. It’s still a competitive game, but it’s a much more laid back one and one I’m looking forward to putting many hours into. I’ve already wracked up quite a few while playing with some friends and I highly highly recommend giving it a go.

This game is going to explode (if it can any more than it already has) in popularity, expect merchandise, brand deals, plushies, t-shirts and just about anything you can sell. The Beans (things you play as) have such a simple design that they will lend themselves to pretty much any merchandise, truly a capitalists wet dream.

I also want to add that the developers seem pretty awesome. With such a surge in popularity they have been inundated with brand deal offers but they’ve turned it into something brilliant – A bidding war.

I really like that they are doing something great with this. Special Effect is a great charity that helps disabled people get into gaming and I love that Fall Guys are doing their bit to help.

Thought I’d add this humble brag to the end of this.

Because the game (as of now) doesn’t track the amount of wins you have and because I am a very special kind of 30 year old, I’ve decided to keep track of my wins on my Twitter account in the best (most nerdy) way I know how: Pokémon!

As of time of writing I am up to Raticate victories in Fall Guys. That’s 20 for all your “normal” people out there.

I’m really hoping/aiming for getting to Mew (end of the first generation) or 151 wins by the end of the year… I’ve got some work to do!

I’m such a fucking nerd.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next time. Until then, remember to take care of yourselves. Peace.


Bonus Video (Very Strong Language)

Me and my friend playing some Fall Guys with my friend nearly having an aneurysm. I promised you some rage didn’t I?

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